Getting engaged is a huge and exciting milestone, but there is no hard “timeline” for when you’re ready to propose. This may make it difficult to know if you’re ready or need more time. The good news is several subtle indicators may tell you whether or not you’re prepared to pop the question.
This article discusses several signs you may be ready to propose so you can start saving for the ring or search for engagement ring financing.
1. You’ve Discussed the Future Together
In general, discussing marriage and married life before proposing is a good idea, even if the proposal itself is meant to be a surprise. Doing so could clear any doubts about how you envision the future and ensure you’re both on the same page. If the topic of marriage has come up naturally in conversations with your partner, that’s a great sign you might be ready to propose.
2. You Agree on Family Plans
Family is one of the biggest considerations in married life. It’s crucial that both partners are clear on their vision of what a family looks like. Whether you want children or not is a good start. However, if each of you wants children, talking about how many you’d like and whether you’re open to adoption could help uncover both of your desires and find compromise if needed.
Discussing family plans beforehand allows both of you to avoid feeling pressure after getting married. If you’ve discussed this topic and agree on it, you may be ready to propose.
3. You’re On the Same Page About Finances
Finances could become a major stressor or point of contention in a relationship if both partners are not on the same page. That’s why it’s critical to understand each other’s financial situations and habits. Be sure to discuss key details, including:
- How much debt does each partner have, and how do you feel about it? Will you aggressively pay off debt before you get married, or will you start your marriage with debt? If one of you is okay with debt and the other is debt-averse, you’ll need to align on a plan for future debt management.
- How do you think about retirement, and when do you want to retire? You may be decades from retirement, but early planning could mean less stress later. Talk broadly about the kind of life you see decades from now, and make sure you’re aligned on the path to get there.
- How do you feel about financial advisors, and do you plan to use one? Be sure to discuss with your partner to understand how they feel about financial professionals. If your partner wants to use a financial planner but you’re firmly in the camp of DIY personal finance, figure out a way to compromise. Maybe using a fee-only financial advisor once a year is the right move to keep both of you happy.
- How you’ll split household financial responsibilities, especially if one partner earns more. Will you split bills 50/50 or pay a percentage according to the money you earn? Get clear on household finances now to avoid a blowup later.
4. You’re Aware of and Support Each Other’s Goals
Relationships thrive when each partner lives to support each other’s goals as much as their own. That could include goals in areas like:
- Financial goals like saving for a home
- Career pursuits
- Hobbies and interests
- Travel
Some of these goals, like buying a home or traveling, overlap in that you’ll likely do them together. However, some goals, like starting a hobby or making a career change, are more individual. If you cheer on your partner in their pursuits and vice-versa, you’re probably ready to think about marriage.
5. You’re Excited About the Prospect, Not Scared
It’s natural to feel nervous about proposing since you want everything to go perfectly. Fear and uncertainty at the prospect of proposing indicates you may still have doubts or have not fully discussed crucial issues like future aspirations and financial goals. However, if you feel excited to get down on one knee, that’s a great sign.
Excitement means you’re looking forward to doing life together and are ready for the highs and the lows. It tells you that you’re confident in your relationship with your partner and may be ready to take the next step.
6. Friends, Family, and Your Partner Hint at It
Friends and family may say or do certain things that indicate they think you’re ready to propose. For instance, they may casually bring up your future together, or perhaps they treat your partner as family.
Signs like these may signal they see your relationship as strong and long-lasting. Your partner may be dropping hints, too. For example, they may mention a place they’d love to honeymoon or how they like a certain kind of diamond. Of course, the decision to propose isn’t up to your family and friends, but it could indicate that you’re more ready than you think.
Is it Time to Get Down on One Knee?
Although there’s no hard timeline for when to propose, several signs may be telling you that you’re ready. If you’ve discussed the future, agree on family plans, are on the same page financially, support each other’s goals, see people dropping hints, and feel excited about the prospect of proposing, there’s a good chance you may be ready for the next chapter.
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