Going through a divorce can be as difficult as the loss of a loved one. As is common with any loss, you will go through several stages of grief as you process your divorce. You may keep the hope that you and your spouse will get back together, which will make it harder to accept the divorce.
You may experience feelings of anxiety and sadness as the feeling of denial gradually fades. This anxiety and sadness may turn into anger that will affect how you relate with your spouse; it could also affect your other relationships. Anger could make you react in a way that you later regret.
When you react in anger, you will try to find ways to remedy the situation. You are likely to feel guilty and depressed. Many people tend to blame themselves in the face of divorce and feel that if they had done things differently, the marriage would have lasted. With time, they come to accept that their marriage can’t be saved and that they have to move forward without their spouses.
Family Counseling During Divorce
People struggle to move from denial to acceptance while going through a divorce. Many people cannot go past the phase of anger, and this is where family counseling proves helpful. Contrary to what many people believe, the purpose of family counseling is not to save the marriage. Family counseling during divorce gives the involved parties the necessary tools to deal with grief and to remain rational and clearheaded while making decisions about the future. Through family counseling, spouses develop the necessary coping mechanisms to lead fulfilling lives after divorce.
At times, spouses can stay fully apart after the divorce. However, the spouses may still have to interact even after their marriage ends, especially if children are involved. Family counseling teaches spouses to co-parent while communicating effectively and maintaining healthy relationships with each other.
When to Seek Counseling
How can you tell that you need counseling while going through a divorce? A person may need counseling if he or she experiences intense feelings of anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts. It is advisable to contact a counselor right away. Other indicators that counseling may be necessary include inability to concentrate, trouble sleeping, isolation, disinterest in activities you previously enjoyed, withdrawal from friends and family members, sudden changes in weight, and loss of appetite.
When Children Need Counseling
During a divorce, children may also benefit from family counseling. Many times, children blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Children might feel that when their parents divorce, their lives will never be the same again. Family counseling enables children to express how they feel about the divorce. It also enables them to know that they are not to blame for the divorce. A divorce will bring inevitable changes in the lives of children. Counseling will enable children to navigate these inevitable changes.
Signs that a Child Needs Counseling
Which signs indicate that a child needs counseling to enable him or her to cope with the parents’ divorce? Parents should keep a close eye on the children even as they deal with their own feelings during a divorce. Signs that a child needs counseling include poor concentration, persistent nightmares, insomnia, poor performance in school, aggressive behaviors, extreme weight gain or weight loss, among others. Preoccupation with thoughts of death and suicide is a sign that a child needs help. Do not hesitate to contact a counselor if you notice these habits in your child. Another thing to consider when going through a divorce is finding a good divorce lawyer. Visit www.simpledivorce.ca to get useful advice on your situation.
