Mismatched libidos are a real and real problem for everyone in a long-term relationship. This problem is not obvious before your relationship first starts; because of the novelty your libidos will be more similar. But as time passes and the novelty wears off, work pressures, family responsibilities, and hormonal fluctuations can cause a gap between the two of you. This manifests itself in sex when your partner wants to have sex, and you can’t get interested, or vice versa.
When faced with a mismatched libido, many people usually wonder if your relationship is healthy. You may wonder if your partner finds you less attractive or if your relationship is suffering. However, fluctuations in libido are normal and should not cause panic. It does not mean that there is something fundamentally wrong with your relationship. Instead, it is important to cope with these changes through open communication, understanding, and love in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
Restarting the dating process
Sex drive is not static throughout endurance life, and it is completely normal, even expected, for people in long-term relationships to experience periods of out-of-sync sex drive. Restarting the activities that brought you together in the first place may be one of the most effective ways to improve the quality of your sex life. Dating is one of those things, and many couples in long-term relationships neglect the importance of dating due to other responsibilities. Trying to restart a weekly or fortnightly date night could be a great help to you. These dates can take any form that you both enjoy – whether it’s a cosy movie night at home, a romantic dinner out, a weekend away, or indulging in a luxurious bubble bath together.
On a date, focus on intimacy and deep touch without expecting sex. Allow yourselves to rediscover each other’s strengths. Consider leaving each other little notes or sending flirtatious texts to ignite the passion between you. Reconnecting on an intimate level is essential to rekindle the spark in your relationship.
Face your needs and desires head on
Don’t hide your needs and desires from your partner. Whether you feel that your partner is lacking interest in you or trying to cater to their level of arousal, initiating an honest dialogue is essential.
What I must stress about this dialogue is the need to be honest, and also equally important is to create a space where your partner is comfortable sharing their feelings and desires without apprehension. When your partner is sharing and expressing, listen carefully and think. Even if you don’t agree, don’t interrupt and criticize. Try to think differently. Addressing differences in sexuality requires sensitivity and compassion. It is by acknowledging these differences that you may find a solution that meets the needs of both partners.
Make a little time and space for intimacy, love, and passion
Intimacy and sexual connection also take time and care; don’t put this activity at the end of the day. After a busy day of work and housework and caring for children, you will hardly have any extra time and energy for good sex. Prioritize nurturing your relationship a little higher and make it an important part of your life together.
For couples with children, occasionally asking friends or family for help with childcare can provide you with uninterrupted quality time together. It’s also important to set aside dedicated time for intimacy outside of your busy schedule. Whether it’s incorporating it into a planned outing or squeezing it in before other commitments, make sure intimacy is always a priority.
Get your engines started with foreplay
Foreplay isn’t confined to the bedroom or the moments leading up to sex—it can happen anytime, anywhere. Whether it’s through a flirty text, a suggestive phone call, or a hidden note on the fridge, you can kickstart foreplay in numerous creative ways. It’s not about rushing into sex immediately; instead, you can extend the anticipation over several hours, sprinkling hints and playful innuendos throughout the day until you both have the opportunity to indulge in your desires.
Adding something new to sex
Lack of freshness is the main reason for the decline of your intimacy, and routine sex is really uninteresting. You have to find ways to add some freshness to your sex. For example, prepare a set of erotic lingerie, which can easily attract his attention and arouse it as well. Or add a sex toy in sex, rose toy is a good choice. Give control of the sex toy to each other, will this make you more excited? A change of location for sex is also a good choice. New surroundings and new sensations will make you feel good.
Sharing your sexual fantasies with your partner
In long-term relationships, it’s common for individuals to develop sexual desires and fantasies that they may feel hesitant to share with their partners. As your sexual identity evolves over time, the interests you once had may shift. Instead of avoiding these desires, it’s essential to have open conversations with your partner about them, whether they involve bondage, voyeurism, foot fetishism, or any other aspect.
Sharing your desires can lead to exciting discoveries and deeper intimacy. Your partner may be eager to explore these fantasies with you and may also reveal their own desires in return. By openly communicating about your sexual preferences, you can rekindle your connection and explore new dimensions of pleasure together.